Note: this page discusses visitation, not guardianship. Guardianship would mean that the grandparent steps in to become a person with the legal authority and duty to care for the child. For example, if your son is deceased and his ex-wife is a drug addict or in jail, you could petition the court to become the guardian for your grandchildren. Read more about guardianship here. In contrast, visitation is the right to see and spend time with the child, independent of having legal or physical custody.

Usually, visitation is granted to the parents in a divorce or custody case. However, sometimes grandparents need to petition the court for the right to see their grandkids. Many such cases come up because parents have “taken sides” in the divorce or breakup, and often a loving grandma or grandpa is left out in the cold. More importantly, the children are suffering by not being able to enjoy that loving relationship.

Different states have different rules about how and when grandparents can have the right to visits. In California, the Court places great value on a parent’s authority. That means that unless there is a very good reason, the parents themselves get to decide how to raise their child. This includes decisions about health care, education, recreational activities, and who they get to see… including their grandparents.

In California, the relevant statute (Family Code §3104) says that a grandparent may ask the court to grant “reasonable visitation rights,” and that the court may do so if two conditions are met:

First, the Court has to find that there is “a preexisting relationship between the grandparent and the grandchild that has engendered a bond such that visitation is in the best interest of the child.” If you have never met or talked to your grandchildren, there is no “preexisting relationship.”

Second, the Court has to balance (a) the interest of the child in having visitation with the grandparent against (b) the right of the parents to exercise their parental authority.